Recommit to Living Your Life on Purpose

September 1st. Fall is in the air. Think back to the start of a new school year — new clothes, new shoes, new school supplies, a new teacher, a new class. And almost always, a new set of classmates to sort out. Conflicts come up, and each side was usually right about something and wrong about something else.

Take a classmate who says she “can’t.” Is she saying she’s genuinely unable, or that she’s simply unwilling? Telling the two apart takes an honest, unbiased look. Decisions and actions are choices, and there’s a real difference between being “unwilling” and “unable.” Independent thinkers don’t let themselves off the hook by claiming they’re powerless to set their own course. Each of us is capable of judging, for ourselves, what our best looks like.

Recommit to living your life on purpose. Take fifteen minutes and write down where you’ve been settling for “good” instead of producing your “best.” Challenge yourself — not to compete with anyone else, but to become everything you’re capable of being. The key is to know yourself and choose strategies that actually work for you. Spend time on what matters, and get honest about what you’re really pursuing.

Research shows that roughly 40 percent of our daily behavior is repeated, almost automatically, in the same context. Life is built on patterns, and patterns become habits. Choose habits carefully — once they’re set, they’re hard to change. So what’s the path to growth — to making things better and helping other people?

Develop a Sense of Self

A person with a strong sense of self is less threatened by a failed outcome or by being wrong. Strong people have no need to defend themselves, because they have no need to prove they’re right. When your sense of self is not determined by what you have, what you’ve done, or how others see you, you have the fullest opportunity to grow, develop, contribute, and be free. Seek to use your gifts to serve. The more you help others the better you will feel about yourself and the easier it will be to learn from failure. Read The Magnificent Obsession by Lloyd C. Douglas. It will point you in the right direction.

Challenge What You Know

Take responsibility for your actions. Growth is a quest for learning and the pursuit of wisdom. Wisdom teaches us how to live fully. We all develop habits of seeing things a certain way, of believing things we’re sure are true, only to revise those “truths” as we learn more. So ask questions. Pay attention. Listen closely. Things aren’t always what they appear to be, and our pattern-seeking brains are quick to reinforce whatever we’ve already decided to believe.

Remember when the world was flat — until someone challenged what “everyone knew”? We were once certain humans couldn’t fly, that the sun revolved around the earth, that no one could run a mile in under four minutes. We know better now.

Learn from Your Failures

Failing isn’t popular. We get upset when things don’t go our way. What matters is what we do after we’re upset. Nearly every great scientific discovery was first dismissed as foolish or ludicrous before it was accepted and applauded. Failure teaches us that winning can be its own danger — it tempts us to coast. The road to a championship is narrow, and few find it, because it runs straight through failure, learning, growth, and persistent commitment.

Focus

The average Major League Baseball game runs about two hours and forty-five minutes. The ball is actually in play for less than ten minutes of that. So what happens in the other two hours and thirty-five minutes? That gap is often the difference between a team that wins a championship and one that comes up short. Winners understand that the first day of spring training matters just as much as game seven of the World Series — it’s a focus on the in-between moments. Pay attention: there are no ordinary moments. Every moment holds a lesson, and every person you meet is a teacher.

Honesty

Say it, then do it. Most of us believe in honesty — when conditions are convenient. But honesty doesn’t come with conditions. It’s a real tragedy to live a life without principles. Mark Twain put it well: “When in doubt, tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.”

Pay attention to where you get your news, and ask whether those sources lean one way or another. Fact-check what they report. Honesty is the foundation of trust, and trust is the foundation of every relationship. When honesty goes unhonored and promises get broken, relationships fail.

Honor

Are we suffering from an erosion of character? A person can fail again and again without being a failure — failure comes only when he stops persevering and starts blaming someone else instead. Everything you have, don’t have, and ever will have is the result of the choices you make. Every moment is a choice, and every choice has consequences. Once you internalize that, your whole experience changes. It’s the difference between “I have to” and “I choose to.” Remember: if it’s to be, it’s up to me.

Issues

Identify the issues that matter. Talk through alternative solutions. Hold the right of self-determination and the value of your own opinion. We’re wired with an innate drive to be autonomous and self-determined, and, at the same time, with a need to connect with one another. When that drive is set free, people achieve more and live richer lives — abundance, boldness, knowledge, accountability. Know yourself, and choose the strategies that work for you. We can all learn from one another. Average people make excuses for the things they fail to accomplish. That’s not you.

Finally, remember good guys don’t always finish first. Morality doesn’t necessarily beat immorality, and good doesn’t necessarily triumph over evil in this world. The truth is the most committed win. Commitment is the key. It’s simple, but not easy.

Wherever you are, you are in the right place to begin. Some say the future cannot be predicted. Others say the only way to predict the future is to create it!

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